Real Housewives of Potomac

Show of hands: Who’d complain about a free vacation to a beautiful Bethany Beach house with friends? You WOULD? Well congratulations, because Gizelle and Charrisse would too! More on that later.

There’s been some trouble brewing the last few episodes between Katie and Gizelle. Even though Gizelle agreed to help Katie with her Casino Royale fundraiser, she and Robyn felt that with less than three weeks notice there wouldn’t be enough time to make it successful. And why put their efforts (and their names) on a losing project? Katie got annoyed and fired her volunteers, noting that ALL of her projects were successful. How about Andrew’s marriage proposal? How’s that project coming along?

Wisely, Ashley chose to drive Queen Bee Karen to the beach. She picked her up in her tiny two seater and brought her little mop dog Geronimo along. Small car. Panting, hyper pooch. Three hour drive. Ashley really does have a lot to learn. Good thing Karen considers Ashley “charity work.” They arrived at the house before the other ladies and Karen nabbed the private room with an ocean view. (Score 1 point for Ashley.)

Katie drove the other ladies (Charrisse, her friend Brynee, Robyn, and Gizelle.) During the long drive, Gizelle Googled and read aloud Katie’s “F.U.” blog detailing a painful breakup with Russell Simmons. This really bothered Katie.

They arrived to find that Ashley had hired a chef. The ladies hated the food, and couldn’t even politely hide it. She showed the ladies to their rooms. Ashley put Katie (who “sorta” revealed that she had been a lesbian for a nanosecond) in her own room. You can relax now, straight housewives!

Gizelle and Robyn would be sharing a room with two twin beds. As much as the idea made Robyn laugh, it made Gizelle furious. It didn’t help that the AC in this room wasn’t adequate. This was a FREE vacation. Suck it up.

Charrisse and Brynee would be bunking together, and were annoyed by Ashley’s misspelling of their names on the cards she had placed on their beds.  Not happy with the FREE accommodations, Gizelle and Charrisse started Googling hotels in the area. Bedbugs and college kids’ vomit sounded preferable to tight quarters? Hmmm, to each his (or rather, HER) own.

Tonight’s episode involved a lot of “poop” talk. Ashley wanted to buy new towels for the beach house so the ladies didn’t think the stains on her towels were poop. One question: WHY WOULD THEY THINK THAT??? Later over dinner, the ladies discussed whether their men had ever seen them poop. Second question: THIS IS TABLE TALK? Then Gizelle shared a story about a magical tea she drinks that makes her poop. Unfortunately for her, it worked too well on the night she wanted to get freaky with her mysterious “Mr. Miami” man. 

Ashley felt the need to apologize for the food, the AC, and the beds being inadequate. She’s feeling like a freshman who’s taking a lot of senior hazing. She booked surf lessons for the ladies. The senior housewives didn’t get in the water. Instead they sat on the beach to judge. They judged which housewife had the best booty. They judged Ashley’s tramp stamp (her low back tattoo that suggested she wasn’t respectable.) Only Brynee broke from the senior bees to give the surfing a go.

Bethany Beach is just a three hour drive from Potomac, Md. Beautiful beaches await. Check out the this seaside town at www.bethanybeachde.com.

To her credit, Charrisse apologized for arriving and bitching about the rooms. She wanted to do a Sister Circle (like she used to do with the NBA wives) where you begin by saying something admirable about someone in the group. Robyn admired Charrisse’s hospitality to her over the last 13 years. Karen and Katie admired Ashley’s free, fierce, and fun personality. Gizelle admired Katie for always being brilliant (even though she often initially thinks the opposite.) This annoyed Katie. First, they had the lunch where she ended up firing Gizelle from her volunteer job. Second, on the drive to Bethany, Gizelle Googled the Russell Simmons breakup to share and laugh about with the ladies during the drive. Third, she basically just said: you’re stupid/just kidding!

After the dinner/sister(DISS HER)time, the ladies sat around talking about having money, and how it wasn’t ever the most important thing in life. Karen’s mother has recently been diagnosed with early dementia. Charrisse's marriage is all but over. And we begin to get a glimpse into what may have been the ruin of Robyn and Juan’s finances. She tearfully broke down about a “best friend” who was taking their money and lying to them.

Looking ahead, Katie confronts Gizelle about her recent shady behavior. The ladies are Bethany Beach bumping and grinding when Michael Darby arrives. The last time they saw him, he was “dropping trough” on Karen’s yacht party. Can he keep his pants zipped? And what about the ladies? Can they keep their lips zipped?

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