REAL HOUSEWIVES OF POTOMAC

Potomac is an insulated hive, swirling in money, Honey. It’s elite status is propagated by a very small colony of lady Bees. At the center, (and don’t you ever forget her) is the Queen Bee herself, Karen Huger. If you throw her a birthday dinner, don’t you dare sit in the center seat, or selfishly order yourself an appetizer while you wait. THAT seat is reserved for the honored guest (even if she’s late, and you’re hungry enough to eat your own arm). If you poke HER hive, you can bank on getting stung (and zapped with a fresh copy of an etiquette book) because...don’t you know she’s married to the “black Bill Gates”?

This former farmer’s daughter from Germantown, MD actually complained about walking up the driveway for a party “I have to walk?!?”. (It looked to be about 14“.) Mother May Is”)...so...? It must have been a real shlep for her around her childhood pasture. Flitting around the hive, is the most eager “Bee”, Gizelle Bryant. She’s got the political pedigree; her father once served in the Texas House of Legislature. Her well known preacher ex-husband prayed. But, he still strayed. Now, she’s got it made. She’s beautiful, and she’s obviously this season’s go-to girl for all the good dirt. She has no problem taking/and or putting you in YOUR place.

What makes Potomac such a thriving, sought-after community?

  • Its proximity to Washington, DC - just 14 miles.
  • Its outstanding public schools - Winston Churchill High School ranked # 69 Nationwide by US News and World Report (#2 in the State of Maryland) and Thomas Sprigg Wootton High School  ranked # 101 Nationwide by US News and World Report (#3 in the State of Maryland).

In another part of the Potomac hive, we have Robyn Dixon. We’re introduced to her just as she’s selling off her wedding dress. However, she’s not ready to toss the man she wore it for. Former NBA star Juan Dixon not only still lives with Robyn (despite being three years divorced), they sleep together in the same bed. I’d make some basketball puns if I knew the game...Shot Blocker in Overtime? Does that correctly sound suggestive for their sleeping arrangement? 

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Katie Rost loves “white Jewish boys” who are good with kids and who are “soooo good with money”. Hey, who doesn’t? This divorced mother of three, is a cover model with brains, and flawlessly speaks with an “affluent” accent. What Jewish boy wouldn’t love her? She sure has her boyfriend Andrew buzzing closely. Could his money (er...I mean HE) be “the one”?

And, finally we met Charrisse Jordan, wife of Rutgers basketball coach Eddie Jordan. She’s not “Section 8” and “Potomac doesn’t define her, she defines Potomac”. Seriously? I mean...maybe in Potomac people gave her the side-eye. But in most zip codes, she’d look like a celebrity. She was hosting the party (with the too-long-to-walk driveway) where THIS and then THAT happened:

  • Gizelle showed up to cook crabs for Charrisse’s party with her own personal stylist/sous chef? Mmm...talented guy. They snooped through the host’s cabinets and then came upstairs while Charrisse was getting styled. That conversation didn’t end well.  
  • Outside on the patio, Queen Bee Karen decided that this party would be a good time to gift Gizelle with the knowledge of her birthday party etiquette blunders (“I get the center seat because RAAARGH!!!). THAT conversation ended even worse.

Interested in living near the buzz of politics and entertainment? You CAN enter the hive, (if you've got your pedigree and your latest bank statement approved~~~and if you don’t mind getting a little sticky once in awhile.) Check out the sweet luxury real estate available at www.wefind.property.

Predictions for next week?

Queen Bee Karen has sent out the warning buzz:  There’s only room for ONE queen in HER colony, and she has no plans to relinquish her crown anytime soon.  Will Gizelle bow down quietly?  Or will she continue to shake the hive I’m predicting a battle for power next week in Potomac...and a colony divided.   

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